Real newspaper headlines

This kind of thing does the rounds every now and then. These are my personal favourites. Real headlines.

. 17 Remain Dead In Morgue Shooting Spree
. Coach Fire - Passengers Safely Alight
. Grandmother Of Eight Makes A Hole In One
. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Experts Say
. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
. Drunks Get Nine Months In Violin Case
. Eastern Head Seeks Arms
. Prostitutes Appeal To Religious Leader
. Failed Panda Mating - Veterinarian Takes Over
. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
. President Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
. Miners Refuse To Work After Death
. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
. Stolen Painting Found By Tree
. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout
. War Dims Hope For Peace
. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Space
. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
. Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery - Hundreds Dead