Sunday 4 February 2007

Ten Tips

Posted by speedygeoff on Sunday, February 04, 2007 with
Random thoughts on how to gross out other runners.
1. Wash your running gear as infrequently as possible. And only wimps wear deodorant.

2. No matter how slow you are, put yourself at the front of the start line at races.

3. Guys: Run up behind female runners and then stay there (they love it … really they do).

4. Gals: Treat all male runners who smile or say “hi” to you while running with disdain because of your suspicion they’re like the guys in #3.

5. Run on the road whenever possible; ignore traffic lights; cross streets in heavy traffic because it "toughens you up".

6. Don’t thank cyclists coming from behind so they know that you heard their bell, ignore them.

7. Be very quiet when passing other runners or walkers and then scare the heck out of them by brushing quickly past their shoulders.

8. At the gym, leave your gear in a pile at the bottom of your locker for several days so it ripens for everyone’s enjoyment.

9. When running in a group, make sure you use the width of the path, to show any other users who's boss.

10. Handkerchiefs are extra weight; blow your nose on your t-shirt, or better still, aim at a passing cyclist.