Tuesday, 9 May 2006

Facing the Facts

Posted by speedygeoff on Tuesday, May 09, 2006 with 3 comments
Don’t Step on Ducks!
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!”

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!”

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on - very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?”

The guy says, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”

One liners
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?


  1. Never a truer word was written!

    Unfortunately, I'm a scratching (you didn't even know I was a starter, did you?) for the Team Moore dinner . . . ALP AGM.

    Same restaurant next time perhaps?1

  2. I didn't think of you when I posted this! I should have!

    Oh, and you could bring the party to the restaurant?

    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.

  3. All those duckies in heaven!! Well FD your future is assured! Now the trick is to watch our big feet! And all this goes to show it's all a matter of perspective!!