neologisms (continued)

1. coffee (n.): The person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted (adj.): Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate (v.): To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade (v.): To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly (adj.): Impotent.
6. negligent(adj.): Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph (v.): To walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle (n.): Olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. flatulence (n.): Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash (n.): A rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle (n.) A humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude (n.): The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon (n.): A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster (n.) A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. circumvent (n.): An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Neologisms #7

I was sent these, thank you to the sender! If you want to see the full set of neologisms, check out "Labels", which you will find at the bottom of the right hand side column.

Neologisms #7
Excommunicated: Received a phone call from a former spouse
Protestants: Worker ants out to overthrow the Queen
Fanatic: To cool off the extreme upper portion of the house
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her
Donkey: Object that unlocks door to Godfather's home
Icing: What I do when I shower
Understudy: Prepare inadequately for the exam
Current: The fee charged by Rent-A-Mutt
Paradise: What you shoot craps with
Store Detective: Counter spy
Cannibal: A guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter
Infantry: A newly planted sapling

Yelena

The lovely Yelena says "Hi" to everyone! After 2.5 years of good health, she had to stop running to let her ITB recover, and now when it looked like she was OK to resume training, she got sick! We wish her a speedy recovery, after all, we ARE the speedy geese.

Salutary lesson for all Collingwood Supporters

A RIOT that lasted three days broke out in a Northern Territory town after Collingwood beat Adelaide in a footy final this month, a court has heard. Darwin Magistrates Court heard warring Wadeye tribes had been supporting opposing teams playing in the AFL semi-final. Luke Parmbuk, 20, pleaded guilty to engaging in violent conduct for his part in the riots on September 13 - two days after the game. Aboriginal legal aid lawyer Callum Dolman said the entire community had watched the game, and the fighting started after one tribe, supporting Adelaide, took exception to the celebratory noise the other tribe was making over Collingwood's win. Parmbuk had been supporting Collingwood, and two days after the win, he was one of 30 people outside a house at Wadeye, throwing rocks. He was holding a steel bar, hitting it on the fence.
Prosecutor Sergeant Justene Dwyer said the offence needed to be met with a harsh penalty. "Children are afraid to go to school, people are afraid to go to work in case they get caught up in this 'chest-puffing' between groups" she said. Chief Magistrate Jenny Blokland said his role in the Wadeye rioting was "of some significance". Parmbuk was sentenced to two months in prison.
-From the Northern Territory News.

Get on a winner! Follow the Crows in 2010!

Today's BBQ Stakes: I ran 27:41, Roger 27:54. Last week Gary ran a new pb of 27:01 to win on handicap.

ACTVAC 30th Anniversary Dinner on 7 November: There is now On Line payment available for 30th Anniversary Dinner Dance tickets at https://www.registernow.com.au/secure/Register.aspx?ID=2143

More neologisms
Hooternanny: The au pair you thought was especially promising, but your wife sent back to the agency.
Alexpandria: A town known for its buffet restaurants.
Apocalypstic: The little smudge I came home with on my collar that makes my wife act like it's the end of the world.
Defenestraction: A ruse to divert the cop's attention while you throw the evidence out the window.
Accimental: Caused by a Freudian slip.
Algaebra: What the Little Mermaid wears over her chest.
Aliass: A body double for a nude scene.
Arbyss: The deepest part of the stomach, reserved for two Giant Roast Beefs, large Curly Fries and a chocolate shake.
Avant-harde: Before the Cialis kicks in.
Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.
Guillozine: a magazine for executioners.

Roger. Another proud Crows supporter.

No discussion at Parliament House

Parliament House training
Last night sixteen runners formed eight teams of 2 to run a 20 minute zigzag relay. Four teams started on one side, four the other as one team member ran diagonally across the grass south of Parliament House then up the flagpole line before handing over to the other team member and jogging back across to where they started. With runners going in all directions, to add to the confusion a couple of guys were trying to kick a footy around; on this occasion no-one was struck, unlike last time when there were frisbees and one unlucky speedygoose was a victim of discussion (see yesterday's neologisms). Participating last night were Craig, Yelena, Bronwyn, Katherine, Jennifer, Neil, Andrew, Warwick, Gary, Joel, Kat, Susan, me, Christopher, Rachelle, and the Disneyland Half Marathon proud medal bearer Jodie.

A series of attrition hill sprints was then held which Joel duly won.

Craig at Parkway

More Neologisms. This set contains normal words with one letter altered.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
Intaxication: Euphoria at receiving a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Tumfoolery: When a middle-aged man sucks in his stomach while being introduced to an attractive woman
Fadavers: Last year's hot fads.
Main Geeze: How an elderly, unmarried couple refer to each other.
Polarvoid: The state of having no baby pictures, a condition that usually befalls the second-born child.
Dozie: The lie a person tells when a telephone caller wakes him up and he denies that he was sleeping.

Take a deep breath

Take a deep breath. Now let it out.
That feels better, doesn’t it?
Now we are ready for a busy week.
Today, Monday is the first day of a new series of training sessions at Parliament House. At 4:30pm I will run 8k from there, then at 5:30pm we all meet and do our warm-up before we get into it.
Wednesday I will continue running BBQ Stakes, 12:15pm start.
Thursday First day of ACTVAC Track and Field. The programs starts at 6pm.
Saturday First day of Stromlo training. We will meet at 9am at Stromlo Forest Park

Links to competition programs are on the ACTVAC website http://www.actvac.com.au/.
The ACTVAC program starting on 1 October is found via the events page  http://www.actvac.com.au/mainframe/Events_Page.htm,

The AACT program, starting on 17 October can be found via the news page http://www.actvac.com.au/mainframe/news.html.

Events of interest to us this Thursday 1 October are
6:00pm 3000m
7:15pm 400m
7:40pm 1500m

Neologisms ..... continued. Check via “labels” for the ones I posted long ago.
Bustard (n.), a rude bus driver.
Semantics (n.), pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood.
Spatula: n. A fight among vampires.
Excruciate: n., the ligament that attaches your ex-wife to your paycheck.
Perplexed: adj., lost in a movie theater.
Population: n., that nice sensation you get when drinking soda.
Racket: n., a small pair of breasts.
Nincompoop: n., the military command responsible for battlefield sanitation.
Ineffable: adj., describes someone you absolutely cannot swear in front of.
Pontificate: n., a document given to each graduating pope.
Pimple: n., pimp's apprentice.
Discussion: n., a Frisbee-related head injury.
Ozone: n., area in which the G-spot is located.
Flattery: n., a place that manufactures A and B cup brassieres only.
Cabbage Patch: A patch for those trying to stop eating cabbage.
Sudafed: A software program on how to file a civil action against the government.
Pop Secret: Paternity suit settled without publicity.
Oral-B: Monica's grade on her last intern evaluation.

More to come

Yesterday we had the lowest Canberra September maximum temperature for 42 years. I can well believe it. Plus with the wind, it was fffffreezing.

Finally, our best performer recently, including at yesterday's handicap, would have to be Caroline Campbell, based on age percentages.

Now I need to go and do some work on the coaching plan. And I am so looking forward to daylight saving starting this Sunday 4 October. It's all happening! See you at training!

Have you had your inoculattions?

Newspaper headline of the day: Physicist Recommends Bigger Balls To Slow Down Male Tennis Players

Neologisms Part 3 (do you like these?)
21. Inoculatte (v) To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
22. Hipatitis (n) Terminal coolness.
23. Osteopornosis (n) A degenerate disease.
24. Karmageddon (n) It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
25. Decafalon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
26. Glibido (v) All talk and no action.
27. Dopelar effect (n) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
28. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally jogged through a spider web.
29. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
30. Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

Would you like to be a Canberra Marathon pacer? I was last year. Go to this website to check out a photo of me with my four hour group in 2006. What a bunch! And at the website you can apply to be a pacer this year if you want.

Speedygeese in the ACTCCC Summer Series
Race 1 at Weston Park:
Women 5k
8. Cathy Newman W45 22:02
13. Annette Sugden W40 23:16

Men 5k
22. Mick Horan M45 19:02
25. Richard Faulks M45 19:23
40. Roger Pilkington M45 20:55
67. Neil Boden M55 24:45
71. Mick Charlton M55 26:00

Nutritious Snacks

Newspaper Headline: "Kids Make Nutritious Snacks".

How they ran at the A-Series meet.
1. Mick Horan 2:08.91 (outstanding run)
2. John Lamb 2:20.14
3. John Morton 2:11.69
4. Ken White 2:25.31
5. Bryan Thomas 2:57.61
6. Dave Carter 2:29.65
7. Jim White 2:43.44
8. Roger the Kt Pacer 2:38.68
9. Kt - first girl - 2:47.19

Scott and Ruth McTaggart



Guests at the Wedding


My 2007 distance racing plans
11 March Weston Creek Half Marathon
15 April Canberra Marathon
13 May Canberra Half Marathon
3 June Queensland Half Marathon
26 August ACT Veterans Half Marathon
14 October Australasian Masters Half Marathon

Neologisms Part 2
11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
17. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
18. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
19. Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
20. Sarchasm (n) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

FOOTNOTES
1. Ken White won gold in the short handicap race today. Otherwise the speedy geese were without a place in the first of the year's monthly handicaps races put on by the ACTVAC. Campbell Park was uncharacteristically cool and dust free.

2. And it looks like there will be a good turn out this Monday night for training at Parliament House. With a new face or two, again.

3. I don't know how they manage it, but the coaching contact section of Vetrunner has reverted to an old version, again! The ghost of the former editor lives on. No we do NOT meet on Thursdays at Dickson!!!

Happy Australia Day

Newspaper headline of the day: "Foot Heads Arms Body" -- Daily Mirror. (sounds like a Wiggles song the grandchildren sing)

Neologisms Pt 1 (Results of the Washington Post's Neologism contest):
1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.


Go the Gosling!

It was good to see Jeni at the track last night.
Here she is running in the Nationals last year.
Note the very low number!

FOOTNOTES
1. All you workers and lurkers, have a great holiday today. Celebrate Australia Day. (And while you are at it, bring back multiculturalism)

2. Colin ran second in the Pennington 800m last night, a usually reliable source says he has the series sown [edit: sewn!] up, but he will have to finish ahead of Kevin in the 1500m yet to be run. Nevertheless, speedy geese (Mick, Col & Kev) were 1 2 3, continuing our dominance in aged handicapped events. Go the Geese!

3. Aranda training is still going ahead tomorrow, despite distractions which mean numbers will be low. An easy session, because 8:30am Sunday is the next Vets handicap run.

Once was Kiwi but now a fair dinkum Aussi,
Strewth finishing the 50km last April.
Well worth a celebration!