Saturday, 13 December 2014

Bohemian Rhapsody parody

Posted by speedygeoff on Saturday, December 13, 2014 with 2 comments

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Three different sports,
To escape from reality.

Open your eyes,
Look up realise and see,
I'm not a swimmer, I need your sympathy,
Because I’m trying hard, swimming slow,
Flailing like, I don’t know
Anyway the water flows hasn’t ever mattered to me, to me.

Mama, just hit the wall,
Went too fast in my long run.
Who said training hard was fun,
Mama, pain had just begun,
And now I've gone and slowed down all the way.

Mama, ooh,
Didn't mean to sit and cry,
I'm going home, will try again tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if fitness really matters.

Too late, the time has come,
Done my training I’ll be fine,
Body's on the starting line.
Goodbye, everybody, and off we go,
Gotta leave you all behind and win this race.

Mama, ooh (quicker than the wind blows),
I am gonna fly,
I sometimes wish I'd never seen tri’s at all.

I am a shaky little cyclist of a man,
Oil the chain, fix the seat, did you see all that rain fall?
Thunderbolts and lightning,
Very, very frightening, whee!
(First transition) First transition.
(Very scary) Very scary,
Butter fingers here we go

I'm a triathlete, I want them to love me.
I'm a triathlete, I don’t have a family.
I get up at 4 and I go for a run.

Here I come, there I go
Quicker than the wind blows
Avanti! No, we will not let you go. (Let him go!)
Nike Free! We will not let you go. (Let him go!)
Saucony! Look I can really go. (Let me go!)
Getting faster bro. (Let me go!)
Never ever stop me no
Never will be slow, oh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, mama, papa, baby sister, baby brother, see me go
Wiggle salesmen have a cycle put aside for me, for me, for me.

So you think you might pass me and wave me goodbye?
So you think you can love me and leave me to die?
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

Fitness really matters,
Anyone can see,
Outdoors really matters,
Climate really matters, to me.

Quicker than the wind blows.


  1. You're very talented. I like your version better than the original!

  2. So many good lines, but I think the best has got to be, "I'm a triathlete, I don’t have a family."

    Thanks for sharing, it was (and still is) highly entertaining!